Why can’t I meditate? Well, if you’re like me, the whole task of focusing and removing thoughts was near impossible, and I just assumed I couldn’t do it. But what if I framed it to you this way: meditation is just the practice of focusing on just one thought, feeling, or moment at a time (instead of lots of things at a time), or this bullshit theory that meditation needs to be a time when you think of nothingness. THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE!
Not being able to switch off or learn to meditate the first or second time does not mean it’s not for you. You need to set an achievable goal, and I believe it is best to start with guided meditation delivered via an app or some coach, of which there are heaps of free trials and classes on YouTube.
There are a million different methods for meditation, and none of them is better than the other. It’s just about what works for you. I have gravitated towards mindfulness meditation. I’m a type A personality, and I work best when I have ten things going on at once. It’s my skill set. However, there are some massive downsides to this trait. To focus on one task and complete it correctly is difficult, and most importantly, holding space for someone else, namely my son or another person.
I thrive in high stress; it’s second nature. But it negatively impacts my health, so I’m using every method possible to manage that impact. Meditation helps with decision-making under pressure and with less emotion, allowing me to think clearer in that moment and process that emotion at a later time. But with stress, I always face an emotion, process it, and then move on.
Here’s a set of examples of why I believe meditation should be something you at least attempt to institute and hopefully leverage to improve:
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I struggle to focus correctly during conversations and hold space for people, sometimes clients, especially my family, friends, and myself. Obviously, the most important ones we should all be present for. When we fail at these things, it can impact our opinion of ourselves and adversely affect our mental health as a result and lead to self-sabotage behaviour.
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Focusing on a task that needs our complete attention usually takes longer than it should or I can’t do it at all, which, again, negative thoughts can leak in, and I need to leverage my internal resilience. Meditation helps to alleviate this issue, as do heat and cold therapy.
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Maintaining a more calm and controlled mindset when stress is high so we can communicate better under stress. Meditation is kind of like compartmentalising in a healthy way. Emotional decisions usually aren’t good, particularly if you’re in a leadership role. Meditation is a lever to be pulled when your day could be derailed by something or someone who has upset you. A present mind can allow you to handle that situation, achieve a positive outcome, and leave you feeling satisfied.
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Control and manage or overcome stress, anxiety, and anger before they happen or as soon as they happen and do not allow an issue to completely derail our day. We simply process it and move on. Also, so we do not reach for a piece of chocolate or an alcoholic drink every night as a distressing tool or allow a reaction to an issue that made us upset.
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Improve our self-worth and the voice in our head. At times, the negative voice can be loudest. So meditating while playing a song to remind you of how powerful and strong you can be is some positivity, or using an app for meditation can shift negative thoughts to the back and allow positive affirmations to be the loudest.
Numbers 3, 4, and 5 are extremely important when talking about health and fitness. These things are meant to be enjoyed, but alcohol and sugar will massively disrupt sleep, lead to weight gain, inability to commit to exercise regularly, and lead to poor self-image and bad mental health.
So, meditation for me personally has the purpose and outcome of becoming more present in a task or a moment with people, drowning out the negative voice in my head, and being a more competent leader. It allows me to be conscious and hold space for people and myself. From doing it, I have built much greater discipline for myself, which leaves me feeling proud and having more belief, so positive mental health and thoughts are more frequent than negative.
I am in no way a master of this practice. The maximum amount of time spent meditating in one session is 5-10 minutes. On a good day, I will do this 2-3 times, so around 20-30 minutes for that 14-hour day I’m awake. So you can see it’s very little time out of your schedule and would be far less time than the average person spends scrolling, which, by the way, is a form of escapism and reacts negatively to dopamine, just the same way drinking and binge eating are forms of escapism. Meditation can be practised while walking or driving, so it’s not as daunting to start.
Once you can complete some meditation, and there are all different forms of meditation, it will leave you feeling more powerful and in control of the day, your life, and your emotions. I have supplied a link to a podcast I found extremely relatable to everyday people wanting to understand meditation and how it can help. Nicho Plowman is the co-founder of Insight Timer. This is the one time I heard meditation made simple and relatable. Follow the link, and give it a listen. His app is called Insight Timer. There’s a free version with excellent starting guides. This is the app I used to get started.
